About
True story of how this site began. I’m an Asian American male living in metropolitan Los Angeles. A few weeks ago I had a brunch with an old acquaintance (an Asian American female) to catch up. She was now happily married to a European guy and was expecting her first child. I was thrilled for her. However, throughout our brunch something really bothered me: the three immediate tables surrounding our table featured three male-female couples each — displayed like a haunted house of mirrors — of a white guy with his Asian girl. Count them, one, two, three! When did the relative disparity of perceived social worth between the Asian male and white male get THIS BAD? I mean, everywhere you go in public you see the white guy/Asian girl combo, but rarely the reverse.
I for one have nothing against interracial dating. I firmly believe as a whole that individual personalities and characters generally outweigh ethnic and cultural differences. That said, no perceptive observer can deny that over that last decade or so there has been a gradual trend: The Asian girl is now trophy girl (in some ways replacing the blonde), while the Asian guy continues to be relegated to the lowest rung in the eyes of the opposite sex. Let’s face it, reality is such that the Asian female is stereotypically viewed as a submissively desirable sex object, while the Asian male in America is sanctioned as no more than eyeglass wearing, gangly, socially awkward and sexually undesirable. These stereotypes are implicit day-to-day life but explicitly played out in the mainstream media, rather, to the detriment of Asian males everywhere.
It has been talked to death on a lot of social forums and informal gatherings, but not much has really been done to address its root cause. Something should be done. But what? Two things I really can’t stand are ignorance and injustice. Between these, ignorance usually runs deepest and causes most harm in society. After all, its the collective individual iniquities, stemming from ignorance, that lead to societal inequities. My part is to try to dispel some of that ignorance and shed some light on the matter gleaned from the experience of how I’ve had to live through and with it. I think its time something of the true Asian male be cogently demonstrated.
See also the Mission Statement.
Ecce home orientalis… behold the Eastern man!
you go, guy! i am beholding, and doing sit-ups as we speak. sit-ups and typing at the computer, at the same time. that’s sexy.
I think its down to more the individual rather than the stereotype. I’m full asian and have had my fair share of non asian girlfriends. If you have something good to offer, in terms of personality then it doesn’t really matter what ethnicity a girl is, they’ll be drawn to you regardless.
I am white and very attracted to Asian guys. It’s a recent thing - I didn’t really notice them before - then suddenly, I did. But I agree with the Canadian poster - confidence and a good personality definitely help. One of the Asian guys I dated was constantly pointing out the Asian woman/white male couples and complaining that no white girls like Asian guys - while I was with him, go figure! But anyway, thank you so much for creating this site. Please keep posting photos and bios of studs!!
Ironically, I found this site while browsing craigslist, because nothing good has ever come out there(haha), and I must say, I am impressed.
Im Chinese myself, I was born in the States, moved to Taiwan for 6 years, and now im here in sunny cali.
For me its the other way around, Ive never had an asian girlfriend; but its never really crossed my mind until I started to read some of your posts. Is it odd that an asian guy has never dated an asian woman?
More or less in the same boat as Dave. I’ve only had one Asian girlfriend but plenty of girlfriends and dates with non-Asians, whites included. I don’t really see things in terms of race. If I see a cute girl then I’m going to hit on her. If a cute girl hits on me and I’m interested then I’m gonna flirt back.
I grew up in San Jose, CA. I went to an almost all Asian High School. I can say without a doubt that this inequity exists. It’s just a statistical calculation but it illustrates a reality amongst Asian Americans. You can blame society and stereotypes all you want but the fact of the matter is, unless Asian males change or do something about this inequity, nothing will happen.
I’ve already said this before but it seems to fall on deaf ears.
While we all know the arguments of Asian women being completely ignorant and dismissive of the whole interracial dating animosity, I’ve always suggested an alternate path.
Asian men need to stop dating Asian women or at least, pay attention to other types of women. I think Asian women know that they’ll always have a safe parachute in Asian men as we’re looked upon as the battered housewife that will always wait at home for them to come back.
Forget that noise.
Asian men need to show that they’re just as appealing as anyone else. Many of the Asian men just don’t make themselves desirable.
All of us need to get with the program. If you live in the United States, you’ll have to abide by Western beauty standards. I’m sorry to break it to you but it’s true. White women, or women in general, don’t like men that are weak, nerdy, and boring.
Work out. Dress up. Clean yourself up. But most importantly, smile alot. (there was a study that determined that it’s very hard for non-Asians to interpret Asian facial expressions which is why so many think Asian men are angry when they’re clearly not)
Let’s show Asian women that they’re in danger of losing us to the non-Asian women. Are there racist white women that won’t even give you a second glance? Sure. I’m even willing to bet that 80% of them won’t date you. However, all you need is one and that 20% left vastly outnumber the amount of Asian men in this country.
I am a 29 year-old caucasian female and have dated only asians since about age 16. Obviously I see nothing wrong with interracial relationships, but for me personally there has always been more of a connection with an asian man than any other. So to all the asian men out there dying to be with your token “white girl,”……no worries, we do exist!! You just have to find us!!!
AMEN Jennifer!!!! I am a white woman and I think Asian men are the sexiest men on earth (just read my posts on this site). I love their sexy eyes and just their whole look in general. A lot of people tell me I have “yellow fever” but I tell them they are wrong. It’s more like “yellow plague” (although I don’t like either term). But it does get the point across.
One of the reason why asian men in America is viewed so lowly is that asian americans lack an identity. What do I mean by that? The only thing that distinguishes most Asian-Americans from Caucasions is skin color-especially the AAs who have been here for generations. The Asian in AA is gone. Most AAs know nothing about their history, their native country’s current situation, their native countries’ culture–art, philosophy, music..etc. AA are “wantabee” whites. Model minority if you will. I will talk about Chinese-American now because I know about them most. I am a Chinese man, who was born in Vietnam, and raised in San Francisco, am a successful consultant in corporate America and cannot explain my discuss at Chinese-Americans. Plainly said, ABCs lack identity. Most of my ABC colleague are so “white,” when I close my eyes I can’t tell if them apart from my White colleagues. Worst these ABCs consistently talk bad about FOBs to me, not knowing that I am an immigrant. The overseas Chinese community in Southeast Asia is very strong, they have their own temples, communities, business group, actors, artist… There the Chinese man is held in high Regards. Why? Because they “keep it real.” They bring something to the table. Take a look at European men. Why are they so sought after? Most women (of all races) tell me its because of their culture. Not surprisingly, in your website, you see mainly Studs from Asia. It is a commentary on how said AAs are in America because all the positive image of Asian Males are from Asia. Think Bruce Lee, Jet Li, Yao Ming, Tony Leung, Chow Yun Fat, Ken Wantanabee, Li Kai Shing, and the list goes on and on. These are the people that White Women like. Why? Because they are authentic. They bring something new to the table. I once dated an Italian girl, not an Italian America. She told one of the reason why she liked me was the fact that I am cultured. She learned Chinese culture and history from me. I learned about Roman and Italian culture from her. I was not what she called a “stereotypical” AA. So to sum it up, there is a reason why Asian men do not get respect from other women (hell we don’t get them from our own women). While our brethren from the motherlands do. I can see why. I do not blame the media, racism, or any of that. The blame is in the mirror. Don’t believe me. For all you ABCs go to any Asian Country outside of China. See how the overseas Chinese people act and see how their communities work. See how Chinese people are respected. Come back to America and do the same analysis here. What you will see is what ABCs lack. This is the real reason why you don’t see AAs get respect from White women. And frankly I see nothing wrong with that.
lol, i’m an eyeglass wearing, somewhat thin and very tall asian guy — this site is pretty amusing altogether. my personal travels are in several states (living in cal, wash, ny) and a plethora of european/asian countries
personally, i just leave it up to fate.
with that said, ive observed some commonalities to the perhaps failure (if you could call it that) of the asian guy:
1) we know what we got and if we aren’t interested in it, we just aren’t — really we’re that confident.
2) there are so many things to do that simply don’t require that female presence — gotta love those trixed out cars and that tennis thing
3) some of us dig non-asian girls — and find asian girls to be a mixed bag.
for the people who fall in #1, well you can’t really help that shit. there’s always that guy and sometimes you just have to admire the skills from afar
for the people who fall in #2, help wean your crew off the same old shit and do something that requires more social interaction with the opposite sex
for the people who fall in #3, go encourage your fellow asian guy to be assertive
on a side note, i do get a chuckle out of these supposedly hot asian guys. some of them are quiet talented and very intelligent in their own right — they would be that way even if they were not asian in all likelihood. (e.g: jay lo, the guy from harry and kumar, etc.)
cheer up, the asian guy is finding new games to play
Wow, great site, and it’s like you’re reading my mind. There exists an infuriating disparity and double standard in the US mass media today. How many Asian American talk show hosts can you name, daytime or night time? Asian American’s on the Top 40 music charts? TV shows about Asian American families? Asian Americans on the cover of People magazine in the US? If such were the case for blacks, there would be a public outcry, and it would be labelled racism. But it’s accepted now, simply b/c AA’s are the “model minority” …. quiet, hard working, and accepting of constant Asian jokes. How many times have I heard Jay Leno make a blatant Asian joke, with no problem, yet if he were to make similar slur about blacks, he would get fired in a heartbeat? I challenge you to watch, say, Jay Leno, Oprah, and NFL football for one week, and tell me how many Asian faces you see on the TV screen……. on the stage, in the band, on the sidelines of the football field, even in ANY of the commercials! Face it, Asians are still not accepted in mainstream US Culture, even though AA’s have a huge economic impact on the US. You see a Chevy or Budweiser commercial, with whites having fun with blacks, blacks having fun with blacks, but where are the Asians?
It sucks. Until AA’s rise up and do something about it, we will continue to be hidden in the background.
I agree - let’s get the asian american guy movement going. Most hot Asian girls are WACK - there I said it! But they do appear on TV shows and are making an impact in media/business. Let’s RISE UP and get out in the public eye!!!
Good work brother! Just saying a quick hi from sydney, Australia. Same problem in Australia, no respected asian actors or role models or TV. One asian comedian at last count (on dacing with the stars - first song he dance to was kung fu fighting………) i was not pleased….
for your reading pleasure (comments from oz largest newspaper… (http://blogs.smh.com.au/lifestyle/asksam/archives/2007/10/ask_sam_friday_intercultural_d.html?page=fullpage#comments)
What i find most annoying is reverse racism or ‘put downs’ from our own asian females! oh asian guys they are bossy, mummy boys , small cock etc.. etc.c…
keep up the good work!
ps. think you should consider update your ‘asian stud’ area to Asian guy idols or role models.
We’re not ‘meat’ or dont want to be viewed like asian women in western culturn as ‘exotic meat’
that hiro actor from heroes is not a ’sexy stud’ but a asian guy who is making change , no major kung fu dude etc.. etc.. drug dealer
Asian guys just want equal respect from people with and as individuals. Sex appeal has many factors and not just psychal attraction. We’re funny, having feelings, sense of humor in our own way. Fair go for all!
“We’re not ‘meat’ or dont want to be viewed like asian women in western culturn as ‘exotic meat’”
Uh, speak for yourself sonny. Come back when you lose your V-card at 35.
Bwah!!!!
Hey! Okay, so, I totally agree, and I’m glad you created a website…I’m a white girl, my boyfriend is Vietnamese-American……I love asian men, they’re beautiful. Check out alivenotdead.com, you’ll find me there
Btw, Shanghai Kiss, awesome movie!!!!